Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just invented taco cereal.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
