My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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