I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize