Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
