After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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