If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
