Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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