Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need help removing her.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize