I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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