the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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