Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize