Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
