I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
