But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
