I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
