Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
