The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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