Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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