He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
