But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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