Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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