i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
