That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize