I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
