well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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