Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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