It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
