Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
