Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
