jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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