Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
