Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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