considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
