the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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