So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize