Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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