I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
