He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
