Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize