a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize