Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize