Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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