i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
