Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
