i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
