when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
