addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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