WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
