hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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