Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
