last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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