Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
