Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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