Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize