conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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