The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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