ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
