HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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