Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
